September 19, 2004

• Saturday, September 18, 2004

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  Ok fellas, I know that I always go against my words. I am so indecisive and don't really know what I need or what I want. But well, I think I got myself figured out. I am very serious this time and determined to go along with this plan. Like you said so yourself: you always go against your words, you're so indecisive and don't really know what you need or what you want; do you know what that says about the credibility of your words? Yes, even the words you're saying right now. It's bullshit.  I have decided to ask Jennifer out again. ( *cue gasps and mindless chatters*) surprise, surprise! I have decided to try my best to be with her and be happy for once. This time around I am putting her as my priority over my friends. (Wow, do you know how many of your "friends" read this? As in, it's a declaration of love or whatever bullcrap to one girl, but a kick-in-the-nuts DISS to all your friends having read that.) In any event, whether me and her do get reunited or not, I ask this. (Enough with the asking already. At this point, you do not deserve to have any of your requests granted by us "kicked-in-the-nuts latter prioritized" friends. How pig-headed CAN you be? "Here, I'm being a dick by telling all you straight out that when I get back with my bitch this time, I'm screwing you. But look! Here's what you gotta do for ME, alright? " Real smooth John, rrrrrrrrrreal smooth.) I know there are a few of you out there that will object. (You are using the term "few" very loosely here.) But hear this. You all been there for me thru thick and thin. (And you still remember that? Hot. So uh... why the stab in the back again? I must have missed it the first time you were trying to sound like an asshole.) But if you are truly my friend and want me to be happy, then let me do what I choose and support me. (Once again, you don't deserve to have your demands granted by us left-over scrap friends at the moment. 'Oh my God, did you hear that? He just told me to get in line behind his bitch, but wait, not before I do this noble thing where I throw away my emotions and feelings like I have none and blindly obey his orders. Go me!!') If you have nothing nice to say then please don't say it at all. (Fuck you! First Amendment right, fool!) Futhermore, if you have something negative to say....consider this the end to our friendship. (Aww, how sad...   FINE, PAYCE!) I am this serious. And don't think I'm not. Honestly, John, it's not that I give a horseshit whose chunk of ass you want, you can go after whatever yeast infected piece you like, even her poison-minded one. But get this- We had a deal~ Oh uh, I believe it was sometime on September 1st when I was trying VERY HARD to be a GOOD FRIEND by shielding negative information from you regarding your heartthrob when you said "Please, I need this. And if you tell me, I promise that I'll never get back with Jennifer". Now allow me to define the word for you: prom·ise   (prms) n. A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow. Something promised. v. prom·ised, prom·is·ing, prom·is·es v. tr. To commit oneself by a promise to do or give; pledge: left but promised to return. v. intr. To make a declaration assuring that something will or will not be done. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that I have just been gipped of a bloody promise, Mister Stonybrook. You know what, I'll be nice and not even hold you to your goddamn promise. Because as a friend, my priority isn't to redeem some I.O.U.1 'never go out with insert name here' coupon, but to look out for what's been threatening my friend's life goal of happiness and moreover, invading the happiness and convenience of his circle of friends as well. Since you want to be selfish, let's be selfish here. Aside from all the anger/sadness/frustration that relationship cost you, I'm going to focus on how much stress it put on us, AKA your chuck back friends. I'm talking about how we were isolated from you for an entire three hundred and sixty-five days like the plague, how you had the audacity to complain about the 'class' of your friends when they turned their backs on your malnurished friendship, how she forcefully stuck herself into Eric and my time to complain about everything about you that we (or at least I) supported regardlessly, how she ruined gatherings during or even before it happens, how uncomfortable she made us by inviting herself to our road trip, how uncomfortable she made ME by crashing my 21st birthday party, how she deleted your female friends' pictures from your computer (particularly Grace's), how she deleted your female friends' phone numbers from your cellphone and all those interrogations made by her puppy eyes and overly large Cantonese vocabulary to me. And time after time you make your friends bear the broading radiation of your nuclear bomb of a relationship. And you asked Grace and me to stick by you no matter what decision you make, yada yadi ya... Gosh darn it! If I had a boyfriend that was causing my friends this much headache, I'd toss him like a cigarette butt. But that's just me, cuz I care about my friends. In conclusion, in case you failed to notice... that the only reason why people are against your blasted relationship isn't so much cuz we don't like her... but because we don't like how you're up in the shit cloud all the time cuz of her! If you were genuinely happy, fine. But you're not and it spread onto us and breaks out like the most annoying pimple on your right nostril. Now how dare you to ask us for anything when you clearly declared on Xanga of all places that we'll be officially shoved to the back stove? You're really that pitiful, huh? That everytime Grace rejects you, you'll just go back to this girl whom you broke up with in the first place just to ask Grace out cuz you were obviously so much more in love with her. In that case, I take back everything I've ever said to support your action for that search of real happiness from my girl. Cuz you don't deserve her. At least she's real, and she knows what she wants in life, and she's loyal to her friends. I see now that you can never be good enough for her because you are no man. You are just a boy who's willing yourself to be a piece of garbage tossed back and forth between two girls and rendering all your friends expendable. You wanna screw this friendship? Fine, let's end it. I will make immediate arrangements to pay back my debt, so don't worry about that. Let's hope Jennifer and you last forever and ever... because you just earned an empty spot by your side with my absence...... but of course, it's not like you CARE.

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